Digital India Initiative and the facebook fiasco !

PM Modi in San Jose

Prime Minister Narendra Modi has blessed the San Jose (Silicon Valley) Indians by delivering a speech in regards to the Digital India initiative. Here is the transcript of the speech and here is the information you need about the digital India initiative.

I was in India (Tamil Nadu) for a brief period of time some time between late August and early September. The time of the year when the engineering graduates (2011 – 2015) would have been graduated and searching for a job. I know how it is. I have no delusions about the opportunities and the brute force efforts needed to get a job that they all want. Hold that thought! Lets take a detour.

The entirety of this short visit to India saw my father being super insistent about my getting an “Aadhar card” (India’s ssn – Kinda). I have been keeping up with the Nandan Nilekani controversies with regards to the “Unique Identification Authority of India” – the board that was responsible for the project and having known how long it takes for getting things done with a government establishment in India, I protested. We parlayed and I ended up inside the building that was responsible for providing you with “aadhar” and of course yeah, we circumvented the system so I can get some leverage – not a proud moment. What I saw inside was impressive. They got my fingerprints, retinal scan and assigned a number to me. Impressive hardware and impressive set of workers. This is good right? But sadly, this is the only bubble I can hide into. To face away from the terrible reality. Its kind of my version of you guys having your facebook dp turn into some weird colored picture to show support of the “Digital India” initiative.

Let’s cut the bullshit man. This may be a genuine initiative with great intentions from PM Modi and Mark Zuckerberg. I hate being manipulated – despite what level, direct / indirect, system / personal, doesn’t matter. I hate being manipulated. Mr. Zuckerberg and PM Modi are like the top two in the whole world – that was successful in mass hypnosis.  Ex. 1  and Ex.2.  The example 2 about PM Modi is super moderate. I consider his campaign to be extremely MachiavellianGoebbelistic. A little angel I have left in me begged for Modi to employ the machiavellian lessons regarding the separation of church and state. An excerpt from the bookmark I made while reading “The Prince” – Niccolo Machiavelli for reference. I assume you all agree as of to why I want the state (Government of India) to be separated from the church (Hindu Nationalism). You know! Gujarat 2002?? Looking at the beef ban and the meat ban and all this nonsense, the little angel inside me is back in hibernation.
Where am I going with all of this?

Man I am fuckin’ raging. You know I cut off mid-way? Cos I had to read the transcript of PM Modi’s address at San Jose and it makes my blood boil man. Let me break it down for you – the things that has been happening in India and the rest of the world.

– China had an economic meltdown.
– The middle-east crisis.
– Price drop of oil and natural gas.
– Carefully orchestrated resurgence of US economy.

This means two things.
1) India can now become a trusted business partner with the US and the EU if only they can deliver what they are promising.
2) We have to be super careful and realistic. Because that’s what that gunned down China now.

You know what I think is happening?

A promise of the “messiah” – an agent of change, that the deepest insecurity of a general public’s psyche craves for – presents himself and he is a dud. Because of the promise and heightened influx, our economy is now like the train in unstoppable – running with full momentum, towards a certain death. Don’t trust me. I urge you to read these articles. If you have the colored facebook DP, you have to read this my man. Let’s pretend like we care about our country, only with a little bit more of an understanding of what is up.

“I think there is still a lot of optimism among the people of the country and among the industrialists and entrepreneurs that the Modi government will be good for business, for progress, for reducing corruption. They think this government means business on all these fronts… However, after nine months, there is a little bit of impatience creeping in as to why no changes are happening and why this is taking so long having effect on the ground”.

[ I spent the last 30 minutes searching for the rants of an american investor, who turned his attention from China to India because PM Modi has asked him to, and was then pissed off that nothing happened. I give up. Please let me know if you guys find the article. ] 

The point is, We have an increased in flux of investments but how are we gonna deliver the results? Let’s talk some numbers and compare them against what PM Modi promises to deliver. This is where India stands at.  It says, with this GDP (7.5), India’s economy is at 3 trillion USD, based on current prices and our buying power (pardon the bastardization you people of economics) is at 8 trillion dollar. Modi is telling the world that our buying power is targeted at 20 trillion dollar, I am just afraid that we are going to fail miserably. 20 trillion dollar is the milk that brings the boys to the yard –  yard is us in the train from the movie unstoppable – our manufacturing sector’s incompetence (University -> Industry translation) is the block that the train is headed towards to. Some more numbers.

1) USD 150 billion dollars in combined IT – IT services Industry.
2) Combined output of ~ 70.6 billion dollars by the top 10 manufacturing companies.
These two reports tells us that they contribute 220.6 billion dollars to the 3 trillion dollars that we have seen. That’s roughly 13.5 parts. Modi promises these industries to grow by 150 percent. Get it?  550.6 billion dollars. Well if you want to know how the industry looks like.. Go ahead and read this article.

So roughly, Infosys represents 10% of the revenue that we are talking about (2.26 billion USD agains 220.6 billion USD). The number of people employed by infosys is at ~ 180 thousands (worldwide). Vishal Sikka feels that he has a problem statement.

– IT services has hit a wall. Saturated.
– Only way to move forward is to come up with products (like oracle).

This is what the whole post is about. The list I gave you before has a logical disconnect. There are companies that are not Indian, that is on the list. I just included that for the ease of presenting an arguable case and even by such low standards, the results are terrible.

We are now producing 15 lakh engineers an year, for a country that only needs 5 lakh engineers an year, of which 1.5 lakh is actually employable.

That’s not it. When I said the country only has 1.5 lakh of “employable” engineers an year, I didn’t factor in what Vishal Sikka of Infosys just told us. The word “employable” has a paradigm shift now.

Vishal Sikka – “As an IT services firm we are not supposed to innovate; we just do what others tell us to”. The ’employable’ 1.5 lakh is for doing what others tell us to do man. To develop a new product, it requires a whole new set of development process which ends with needing a new definition for employability. People who can innovate. Unfortunately, the machine that turns out a whopping number of 15 lakh engineers an year wasn’t set to produce such a product. We have set for 15 lakh of people who the industry can take based on some standards, teach them a whole new process and then have them perform. The necessity is going to change now. If it changes, then we have 12 – 13 lakh of unemployed engineers an year and if we manage to get by, in case Vishal Sikka is wrong, then we have 10 lakh of unemployed engineers.

– Optimistically, we have 10 lakh of unemployed engineers.
– Realistically, we have 13 lakh of unemployed engineers.

Back to my time in India:
Remember how I was talking about what I expected to see? Regarding to the unemployed engineers of 2011 – 2015 batch? Well guess what. I met engineering graduates from 2008 – 2012 and onwards, who has now given up any sort of attempts at becoming an engineer and resorted to the ways of survivability. TNPSC – Tamil Nadu Public Service Commission seems to be the most famous choice of all. They aren’t even shooting for the Deputy Collector or anything similar to that cadre (group 1). They are preparing for the group (3,4) that is going to be doing the clerical work for the government of Tamil Nadu. I am not sure of what the rest of the graduates, namely, management, arts, science and technical diploma holders are going to do.
Forget that. What happens when all of these jobs are filled with graduates of all sorts? What is going to happen to the rest of the students? We, as a whole country, seem to be pre-occupied with a cheerful notion having a lot of young people. Well eat this. Having a lot of young people, educated and unemployed, is the recipe for destruction.

Connecting reality to the optimism:
This is what my problem with the whole celebration of Modi the messiah is. When you have almost 30 lakh (made up number) graduates that are unemployed, and the foreign investments that wants you to either sell or buy their products but with no enough buying power or selling process, they are gonna take their money back. Drain the market of foreign investments. This drain will not only hit the people that are outside this established order of system but also the ones who got by the system. Namely, your regular engineering graduate with a dream job. This is what I fear of. This is very well may be what that happened in China.

So its great that you change your DP and all that. Just verify the data. Always! I respect the fact that you wanted to make a difference by raising awareness of the “Digital India” initiative by coloring your DP. That’s a start. I hope you will do something more.

I am just gonna sign off with a crude picture I made.. fuck it!
Untitled drawing

Also, the data that I based parts of this article from.

The Quest!

The known are dead. Your knowing, killed them.

Unknown alive. Awaiting death.

Piece by piece, rots your meat.

Or ripes to be feasted ‘pon.

You’d think fire absolves you.

That you’ve made the maggots happy; or a vulture or a fish even.

Ha ha ha ha ha..


You always fall down the stairs you systematically built.

It hurts; Breaks you. Wipes you off.

You are now but a memory, until a last neuron snaps man.

Here is a happy thought. Life flushes you down like a fat man taking a dump.

What can you do?

Wither at the eventuality of nothingness?

Hither to the other end like everything else you know?

Would you tuck your tails between your legs as you do so?

Or to remain an unknown? A lost?

An agent of change?

You know..

Feed a few poor heads? Stomachs?

Lead the planet to sustainablity?

Be a cog that shifts the wheel around?

You think I know what happens?

The only thing that I know is to be me.

To be me is to love.

To love myself, my world, my planet, my language.

To be me is to know that I owe this much to the world.

To the ones that are dead.

To the ones that are alive and are not priviliged.

To the ones that are priviliged not knowing how to love.

I owe it to myself.

To be is to do.

To be is to be.

It is both and nothing. At the same instant of time. To be is to do is to be and to be is just be or be a has been or never been with or without doing nevertheless.

Confusing right? Throw the towel maybe? Resort to philosophy? Occam’s razor would do the deed you think? Fuck it. I will tell you what I am thinking right now. If it changes, and when it changes and I know it will, I will let you know.


A little romance in this existential crisis is all we need.

A little romance in this existential crisis is all we need even if it means that the life stares back at you with absolute disgust. Vultures peck at you like the way they were supposed to. Don’t give up. Romanticize. Practice it.

Romance the self, language, women, men, animals, oceans, rivers, paintings, computers, mathematics.

Romance whatever mankind has been romanticizing so far and will romanticize in future.

You romanticize my man. You can even romanticize that certain death whic will put you out of your miserable happiness.

You know! Write a beautiful poem about death that everybody loves. It doesn’t matter even when you realize that you have lied about it. That death just shoves you down with the brute force truth about how invaluable you are. That no matter what you make of it, it just wouldn’t give a shit.

You thought this was a poem? That I would make sense to you?

Ha ha ha ha ha….

Kalam !

Its been 2 days since his demise. I am not a fan of the RIP posts in facebook (remember Paul Walker?) but in Dr. Kalam’s case, I don’t even want to dissect the why’s and how’s of it. Goes to say how much we as a nation, loved him. He was the last of the generation that stood up and guided the younger generation that served as icons, in the wake of Indian nationalism. We miss your presence Dr. Kalam and we can only hope to carry on the dream you had.

Dr. Kalam’s stance or the lack of which – regarding the fabricated Tamil sentiments such as Nuclear power plant and the Neutrino research center has made certain sect of the Tamil Nadu to speak ill of him. Few of the disses swinged at him are as follows.

“A political clown”.
“Not a real scientist”.
“tool of the oppressors”.
“Merchant of fascism”.

He was reduced to being the “Minister of Propaganda” for Indian government.

It is true that Dr. Kalam hasn’t made his stance clear regarding the North-East situation, Kashmir situation, Eelam genocide and Operation Greenhunt. Are you leftists that naive to think that someone who has served as a Chief Scientific Adviser to the PMO – India and partly governed two of the country’s apex scientific establishments can speak his mind? Any human would be troubled to see what the GOI is doing with the 4 key humanitarian problems in India, provided that one doesn’t bear the burden of evidence, one should stay away from accusations right? Even the court of law calls it as “benefit of doubt”. But why am I bothering myself with deliberation in writing a column or op-ed since you motherfuckers will discredit Kalam as a scientist as well? When did you guys stoop this low to just write bullshit without a care for supporting evidence? Especially when he is dead and the country is mourning?

I think the fundamental problem is that, the lunacy of the leftism has no rationale to it and it will attack everything that does not agree with their philosophy. Its just goes with your version of modernism to attack everything in the obsession of being an iconoclast.
Let me quote Barathiyar for you assholes.

கண்ணிலான் காலிற்
கவின்மணியை யெற்றிவிட்டால்
மண்ணி லதுதான்
மதிப்பகன்றதாய் விடுமோ? 1

பொய்த் தொழிலோன் மைதிலியாம்
வைதனைப் புன்காவல்
வைத்ததனா லன்னை
மதிப்பிழந்து போயினளோ? 2

ஐவர் முன்னே பாஞ்சாலி
யாடையுரிந் தார்கயவர்;
மைவளர்ந்த கண்ணாளின்
மாண்பகன்று போயினதோ?

The biggest grief of an Indian liberal would be, having to side with you stupid leftists from time to time.

அடியே காதல் கண்மணி..

அறிவுஜீவியா இருக்கவனுக்கு பிரச்சனை பொதுஜன ரசிப்புத்தன்மைல அடங்குற விஷயங்கள இவனால ரசிக்க முடியாது..

அறிவுஜீவியா காமிச்சாகனும்னு நினைக்கிறவனுக்கு (insert beep sound) எதையுமே ரசிக்க முடியாது..

(அண்ணல் கருந்தேள் அறிமுகம் இங்கு என்றறிக)

தன்னைத்தேடி வந்து நிற்கும் மனங்கவர்ந்தவனை கண்ட இந்தப்பெண் கண்ணில் காதல்.. ஒரு நொடி.. ஒரே நொடியில் கண்ணீராய் துளிர்த்து மறைகிறது.

“ஐயோ.. அம்மா.. என் காதல் எவ்வளவு புனிதம்.. கண்ணு தெரியாத அளவுக்கு கன்னாபின்னானு காதல் வருதே. நாக்கு, மூக்கு, காது (வான் கா பொறுத்தருள்க) எல்லாம் வெட்டியே ஆகணுமே”ங்குற அளவுக்குலாம் இங்க எவ(னு,ளு)மில்ல.. (நம்ம எழில் பையன் தவிர்த்து).

தன்னளவுக்கான ஒரு சமூகக்கரண்டியில் அளவு பாத்து, மனசும் நோகாம, வாழ்க்கையயும் பலி கொடுக்காம, ஒவ்வொரு அடியா அளந்து அளந்து ஒரு mysterious space கடந்த அப்புறமா அடைகொள்ளா காதல்.. இதான் இன்னிக்கு வழக்கம்.

நித்யா மேனன் கண்ணில் துளிர்த்த கண்ணீர் சட்டென்று திசைதிருப்பும் நொடியில் இவ்வளவு இருக்கிறது. Its not normal anymore to let your feelings known. ஒரு மாதிரி நேக்கான arranged love. இத படமா எடுத்தா “ஐயே.. அதே பழைய மேட்டர்பா”னு அய்யாச்சாமிஸ்..

ஒன்னு மட்டும் தெளிவா புரிது.. Recurring themes in Quentin Tarantino moviesனு சின்னதா thesis பண்ற இதே கும்பல்தான் இன்னாடா ஆயுத எழுத்து trainu, அலைபாயுதே sceneuனு அலம்பிட்டு திரிதுக.. lets not talk about the wannabes anymore. அத இந்த பதிவு போறவாக்குல பாத்துக்கும்.

ஒடம்பு முடியாத அம்மா அவரு வந்தா தான் எனக்கு நிம்மதின்னு சொன்ன நாள்ல இருந்து இன்னிக்குவர எங்க வீட்ல ஒரு காதல் கதைய நான் பாத்துட்டு இருக்கேன். அதுக்கு முன்னாடி எல்லாம் அம்மாக்கும் அப்பாக்கும் இவ்ளோ loveஆ’னுலாம் எனக்கு தெரியாது. அன்னில இருந்து நான் பாத்ததுல ஆகச்சிறந்த காதல் என்ன பெத்தவங்களுதுதான். நம்மள்ள பலர் இதே சந்தோசத்த அனுபவிச்சுருப்போம்.

பிரகாஷ்ராஜ் – லீலா சாம்சன் (சிறந்த துணை நடிகைக்கான தேசிய விருது?) க்குள்ளார இருக்க காதல் அப்படி ஒரு வகை. இளையராஜா காலத்து romanticized romance. எனக்கும் – என் சார்ந்த சமூகத்து இளசுங்களுக்கு, காதலுக்கும் மேற்சொன்ன சமூகத்தயக்கத்துக்குமான இடைவெளில நடக்குற ஆண் – பெண் பரிமாற்றங்கள் சில இருக்கு. நித்யா மேனன் – துல்கர் சல்மான்கிட்ட அத பாக்கலாம். That is there to it. இது பழசுன்னா நீங்க புதுசா காதல் பண்ணுங்கடா அம்பி அத பதிவு பண்ணலாம்..

(SPOILER பத்தி ஜாக்கிரதை.
தன் ஆருயிர் காதல் மனைவிய பாத்துட்டு குடைய தூக்கி எறிஞ்சுட்டு பதறி ஓடின பிரகாஷ்ராஜ்னால, “என்னடாம்மா ‘ன்னு” அம்மாகிட்ட வாஞ்சையும் காதலும் கொட்டும் அப்பாவுக்காக யாருக்கும் தெரியாம கண்ணோரமா ஒரு துளி காதல் துளிர்க்குது, மரியாதை கலந்த பெருமை நிமித்தமா).

நித்யா மேனன் தோழியா வர்ற பொண்ணுகிட்ட கூட அவ்வளவு யதார்த்தம். நித்யா மேனன் சொல்லவே வேணாம். என் கிட்ட இருக்க samsung S6 frame வழியா பாத்தாலே அவ்வளவு அழகா இருப்பா. இதுல மணிரத்னம் சொல்லி, PCS அவரோட பிரம்மாஸ்த்துரதுல frame வச்சதுல இந்த நித்யா மேனன், ஷாலினி – ரேவதின்னு தேவதைகள் உறையும் ஒரு திவ்யதேசத்துல Green Card வாங்கிட்டா. நம்ம Vijay TV Ramyaவயே கண்ணு கூசாம பாக்க முடிதுன்னா பாத்துக்கோங்களேன்!!

துல்கர் சல்மான்கிட்ட ஒரு handsomeness இருக்கு. ஆனா classல பசங்கட்ட சங்காத்தமே வச்சுக்காத ஒரு character இருக்குமே? அந்த சாயல் தெரிது. நடிப்பு எல்லாம் பிரமாதம்தான். I guess the first father and son both to feature in MR’s films. அதுவே பாராட்டு தான்.

எங்க எல்லாம் முடியுதோ அங்க எல்லாம் எறங்கி அடிச்சுருக்கான் இந்த மென்சிரிப்பு maniac ARR.. Carnatic fused with dubstep / electrohouse படத்துல அங்கங்க தெளிச்சுவிட்ருக்கார் பாருங்க.. த்தா level. எப்பதான் படத்தோட OST வரும்னு இருக்கு..

ஒத்த மனுஷன் இந்த தமிழ் சமூகத்துக்கு pink floydஆகவும், metallicaவாகவும், Skrillexஆகவும், Coldplayஆகவும், qawwalisஆகவும், carnaticஆகவும் சதாவதாரத்துல அருள்பாலிக்கிறேர்.. ம்மா.. என்ன புண்ணியத்த பண்ணானுங்களோ இந்த தமிழனுங்க.. blessed with people like Raja, ARR, Valluvar, Kambar, RR Chozhan! எப்பா ராஜா ரசிகர்களா. புரியுது உங்க ஆதங்கம், உங்க ரசனை எல்லாம். அதுக்காக இப்படி ஒரு மனுஷன தரக்குறைவா பேசுறத நிறுத்திக்கங்க சொல்லிப்புட்டேன்.

இப்படி நான் பாக்குற காதல, காதலர்கள, என் வாழ்க்கைல இருந்து sample பண்ண celluloidஅ தந்ததுக்கு நன்றி MR.

Special accolades for choreographing the quintessential bickering couples go through when they don’t put all their feelings on the table. That kinda answers one more accusation. An artist can only record what he sees for us to be able to relate with the movie. பாலாக்கிட்ட போயி..  “நீ ஒரு international b-boy ஓட biopic எடுக்க மாட்டேன்ற. நீ போங்குனு சொல்ல முடியுமா?”. “யார்ரா நீ வக்காலி”ங்குற மாதிரி நக்கலா சிரிச்சுட்டே போயிருவார். இங்க கொரவலைய கடிச்சுவச்சுருவார்னு ஒரு theaterக்காக நான் சொல்லலாம். ஆனா உண்மைல இதுவரைக்கும் நமக்கு தெரிஞ்சு பாலா யார் கொரவளையயையும் கடிச்சதில்லையே? அதான் சாராம்சம்.

ராஜா, ரஹ்மான் விட்ட gapல Anirudh is godனு திரியற பக்கிங்க இதுங்க.. அந்த மாதிரி தான் காதல படமா எடுக்க Gowtham Menonனு சொல்லிட்டு திரியறதும். I have no other say in this matter.

You own this genre Manirathnam. This is an epic comeback. If this brilliant boy of yours, your Nandhan, is involved in this film, please let us know.. ரொம்ப நாளா அந்த பையன் பொதுவெளில என்ன பண்ணப்போறான்னு எதிர்பார்த்துட்டு இருக்கேன். Shut your wife up while you’re at it. Pretty please!

மத்தபடி என்ன கேட்டா இதான் சொல்லுவேன். எனக்கு ஆளு இருந்தப்போ / இல்ல futureல வர்றப்போ இந்த படம் வந்துருந்தா உஷிதமா இருந்துருக்கும். I would have been writing to her instead of this sinkhole I dug for myself. But then.. All of you people who are in love.. Go grab your SO and watch O Kadhal Kanmani.

Thoughts on Deepika Padukone’s “My Choice”:

For the uninitiated, this is what is in discussion :

I watched the short video by Vogue, starred by Deepika Padukone and directed by Homi Adajania. I so wanted to do a’ Whatsup Homie’ upon learning his existence (I don’t Bollywood). Alright. I will just put my takeaways and then something else.
* Brilliant Lighting and Camera: Wow.. All the environs including fabricated lighting, usage of monochromatic colors and with the pretty women. Wow. Powerful narration too. Kudos to the homie.

* Nimrat Rao! Whoa dude.. that chick! If you’ve watched Homeland, I bet you didn’t take your eyes off of this gorgeous, commanding and attractively vicious and my version of Femme Fatale. My senses went on a berserk that I had to find her on instagram @nimratofficial to give myself a shot of Nimrat Rao every time I go there. If you folks think Deepika Padukone is attractive that’s all chill by me. But this is what I have to think of her :P
( Rajendran, A south Indian bae with his bollywood counterpart)

* I believe TOI is a piece of shit and AIB did a homage and that’s there About Deepika’s choice to show her bod and to speak against the TOI’s publication standards, I am completely with her. Its her choice and her terms and TOI did fuck up bad. I have come to respect DP after that. That was no case for double standards. But that was it. The propaganda value she garnered with the aforementioned incident catapulted her way to this video. tsk.. tsk.. regrets! TOI you blatant fuck. This could have easily been Gul Panag’s. Bang up job there TOI.

By now, you readers would have got an idea about who I am and how I view stuffs.. I am a liberal and I friggin want freedom of choice.. If there is one. If you’ve read 1984, I can say you would know what it means to have the illusion of choice. But then.. WTH!

My Observations:
This is what I have observed in this 2 minutes (and change) of the brilliantly shot / narrated piece of shit.


Before you go all “white knight – look at me girls, I am a feminist myself – whoa.. this is cool. I’ll share this” on this video. Here are some bites.

This video has nothing to do to with a middle-class or the never been acknowledged lower middle-class or the devoid of our conscious below the poverty line people. Empowerment is more than what you get to wear my people. I have known a girl who can not go to school because her father thought women can’t go to school associating with men and such. I have barely scratched the surface here. I am completely aware of how big a problem women’s rights is, especially in India. Sure freedom of clothing is a symptom but should we fuss so much about treating the symptoms here and letting the disease unnoticed? Politicizing the elitism here will only widen the social class bandwidth and will add more troubles to the earnest who actually need women empowerment. “My girl will become like this if she were to be educated”. See what I mean?

The editor in chief of Vogue USA and the director of the group that publishes Vogue, Anna Wintour, is a narcissistic creature that somehow got through the last 100 years of evolution. This video is a certain echo of her standards. Let me give you an example. The video is interpretive as a woman’s voice to her tormentor, arguably a man right?. The video also asks you to STFU cos bearing a certain size is their choice. Their editor in chief has asked people (Oprah friggin Winfrey) to shed weight to be featured in Vogue. I am fuckin confused man.. I love a lot of people and I hate very few. Of that very few, the creatures that tops the list are the ones with Selective Liberalism. I will be a liberal when it suits me type of people. I guess the validity or the credibility of the video is questioned by the fact it is paid by Vogue.  Oh! Ms. Vintouralso stopped a working class flight attendant to be featured in the Vogue’s breast awareness piece and had a businesswoman feature in it. Are you getting this? Having breast cancer and being a woman (Wrong order? :) ) doesn’t qualify you being there in Vogue’s breast cancer awareness article.
You.. The Indian woman who is worried about having a safe and secure public latrine because you can’t weeeeeeee in public as ‘they’ do but still are a Human with metabolic urges.. Vogue Empowers you.. First become elite and then when you don’t give a shit cos you can have a friggin mobile latrine in your limo. Then we will talk about your clothing choices aight?

I am a proponent of “Death of the Author” so let me stop being a (sorta!) hypocrite here. What really grinds my gear and sorta put me in rant mode is that special mention to Adultery. Dude. I get it you went all “The picture of Dorian Gray” in here but Dorian Gray is an old world monster. Please stop! This is too wild for Oscar Wilde himself (Not really!).

Men are objectified just as easily as women as well. Women. You know you check out that ass, “cute” smile and enjoy a free gun show when you can at the same rate as men do, only subtler.  We can not wear certain dresses as well. Imagine a man wearing a really short shorts? Would you take it as lightly as you think you will? Being forced into herd with the societal conformity is not just a special reserved seat for women. Of course no one can tell you what to wear and how to wear it. No one can disturb you for what you’re wearing. At the same time, you ought to understand that men has the same reservation too. Yeah we do go shirtless when we can but that comes within a certain level of social scrutiny as well. My point is that there are much pressing issues at work.

Going full elite and disconnected while dealing with sensitive topics such as this is kind of like playing for the opposite team. I for one, can not take people seriously when you are being Vague, Selectively liberal and Elite. But its not about me. A common authoritative male archetype would twist the moral ambiguity in the term “Sex Outside the Marriage” to negate whatever you are trying to do here. No one has freedom to have sex outside the marriage unless it is an “open relationship” (people of facebook; You really need to know what it is before calling yours, an open relationship). No matter what color, creed or the presence of a dick or the lack of it. Just stop selling this bullshit.

I believe the video is intentionally vague. As in, to create dialogue such as this. I dig that. But the vagueness is mildly irritating when it comes to the mention of promiscuity. Are you wanting the freedom to commit adultery or you just concerned about the social comment clause that is attached with it? Being called slut or a whore if I have to be not vague? See that’s how you don’t be vague. I seriously don’t know how to categorize the adultery thing? Is it like a women empowerment thingy or what?

I am not sure how many of you know this. Evolution toggles between monogamy and polygamy to suit its needs. You know why dogs gets stuck after doing the deed? Evolution baby. Monogamy is sorta like our equivalent. I wouldn’t care the life history of the girl I am married with. But I definitely want her to be mine, and I hers, post marriage. There are several other relationship criteria and a specially stitched “open relationship” thing to propose otherwise.

This whole thing becomes a fuckin charade when there is a sect of women who had to walk miles to find places devoid of prying eyes cos she too needs to get rid of her bodily waste, or a place to bath and her family can not afford a latrine in their own house. Who is going to star in a video about that? Who is going to share that? Who can tell their story without having a bullshit “white savior guy saves an uncultured barbarians / slumdog millionaire” agenda behind it?

Last word: This video is manufactured as Deepika Padukone’s message rather than our Homie’s. When you understand why I haven’t made a fuss about it, You have silted the difference between a feminist and a hypocrite. Cheers to the women in my life. You all know how much I love you and respect you.

Terrorism among individuals

Charlie Hebdo is a french satirical magazine that attacks dogma or anything that it likes or dislikes. What is permissible to print is not even a question. Freedom of speech is an important pillar of a democracy. I believe in democracy. Let us put the emotions to rest and have a rationale at this massacre that happened in France.

> A cartoon disrespects a faith system and that is provocative.

>> It should be retaliated with a dialog or another cartoon; something communicative. Not murder.

> My faith is with democracy, freedom of speech and against killing a fellow human being and my faith system is violated.

>> What should I do if there is a provocation against my faith? See the problem here?

If a cartoon is provocative and is tantamount to a massacre; what does a massacre equates to?

There is one thing I learned that I am proud of. To respect a human who has a different opinion.. To have an argument about the ideas without hating or insulting the bearer..

Here is something someone wrote about roughly 50 years ago. May be it will help you understand the french thought process.

A personal note:
I am proud of my mother tongue and my regional culture. Very proud. I have read a lot of Tamil literature; A lot more than anyone else I have personally met. If I were to be given a choice of being born again and If I get to choose who I am gonna be; I’d wanna be a Tamil. All over.
If there is a second choice at all, it would be french. Its the language and their culture. It is as liberal as an established country can ever get. It is in their blood to be free and embrace humanity. To lead humanity. France led the world to a new order since 18th century and it continues to inspire the western world. I hope this incident doesn’t changes that. Sadly, the irony of this post is the link that I have given above. It is written by a french philosopher and it can be summarized as “A creation should be treated as an independent entity from its creator”. Too bad some of us haven’t heard this message in 48 years.
A word to my friends. If you can not agree to the point that you and I have the absolute freedom to do what we want and say what we want; Fuck off… As in unfriend or unfollow or whatever that will put us on our own ways.

You don’t have to agree to what I am saying. But you have to agree that I have the freedom to say whatever I want to say. If you can’t accept that; then it is one of those things that constitutes terrorism.

We can have an open discussion about this. I will not disrespect you for having a different set of beliefs. I expect you to do the same.

piece de resistance: Muslim brethren. Please know that France is the country among UN security council that genuinely backs up Palestine. To choose not to speak up now is a symptom of a greater problem.

P.S: This applies to every self-righteous prick. Doesn’t matter if you want to ban a book that reviews Gandhi or to kill Salman Rushdie.

Indian aunty and the recent american college grad: A tale of woe and foe

p.s – subtitles available only

p.s 2 –  aunties / maamis are used interchangeably.

p.s 3 – All the translation is in between // and //.

The introduction of the Indian Aunty:

நாடு சும்மா கிடந்தாலும் கிடக்கும் பாழும் நாகரீகம் அத ஓடி வந்து கெடுக்கும். A

stained metaphor of all those aunties (maamis) whose sole purpose is to ring the wedding

bells to the otherwise innocent Indian parents. Some aunties are just this ultimate evil

embodied in silver, gold and organic compounds. A black hole of all sorts. This maami

destroys everything in her path. All it needs for her is to spend 5 minutes of her time.

“நம்ம காயத்ரியோட பையன் இருக்கான்ல? அமெரிக்கால படிச்சுட்டு கை நிறைய

சம்பாதிச்சுட்டு இருந்தான். அப்புறம் ஒரு கருப்பு பொண்ண கல்யாணம் பண்ணான்,

அவளும் கொஞ்ச நாள்ல இவன விட்டுட்டு போயிட்டா. போன வாரம் phoneல நீங்க

சொன்னதெல்லாம் காதுல போட்டுக்கலையே மாமின்னு கதர்றான். எனக்கு படபடன்னு


//” a painful narration of a failed interracial marriage an Indian male sought upon himself and an unverifiable punchline aimed at satiating the evil aunty’s delusion of being a do gooder”//.

A short walk-through an Indian nuclear family:

The garden variety Indian parents are under the impression that their babies will never

do anything against them and even if their kids like someone;  it will all work out fine

and dandy. They have this sense of comfort from the control they possess over their XXXL

infants. That comfort was repeatedly reassured by numerous verbal, financial and social


/We will be seeing an Indian nuclear family where the mom is Shenbagam and her son, pappu / XXXL infant./

/ The intricacies of an Indian parent – child relationship is currently out of scope here and has no fodder for whatever effect the author of this post tries achieve and thus no longer be pursued. /

A momentous journey of the maami:

Lo and behold. The behemoth of an Indian aunty reasserts herself in your family with the

social commitment she thinks she has over the wellness of your family. The wake of this

narcissistic creature, a remnant of the old world monsters, has only one purpose. To

threaten the innocent Indian parents and to make them feel insecure about the control

they possess over the XXXL infant.

This is where the story about a failed interracial marriage is narrated. The aunty,

having mastered the art of story telling as she accumulated tenure by impending

obedience in her children by narrating monster stories, has undergone second mutation to

become a master manipulator of emotions via stories.

What started as “பூச்சாண்டி புடிச்சுட்டு போயிருவான்  to the சாப்பிட மாத்தே போ-ing

kid”, // fake attempting a contact with the boogieman to make children obey to her

commands // has evolved to “கருப்பா இருக்கான்.. பொறுக்கி மாதிரி.. பாவம்னு ஏதாச்சும்

பேசினா என்ன ஆகும் தெரியுமா?” // a story about cultural equivalent to black

boyfriend vs single white woman //and then to “மாப்ள நல்லவர் தான்..ஆனா அவங்க

அம்மா, தங்கச்சிலாம் என்ன செய்வாங்க தெரியுமா”  // establishing control over the

son-in-law by scaring the daughter by using fictional stories against her in laws // and

now the maami is a successful mother.

Her social status is established by her frequent trips to America to oversee her

daughter’s role as a wife and a puppeteer who is a puppet herself. The effective

disassociation of the son-in-law and his supposedly evil family is a tale in its own but

like we have previously discussed, its outside our bracket.

We have already drifted enough in establishing the maami origins.

Maami and her resolution to fuck your life:

Now the social circle that the maami moves in is well aware of her accomplishments and

there are a bunch of pictures of our maami in front of Niagara falls, statue of liberty,

San Francisco bridge, times square, Stratosphere – Las Vegas and in front of random

American buildings, going rounds in social media. The picture attached is fictional and

not a portrayal of anyone living or dead and I am not known very well for my



However, Maami has allured her peers into opening a facebook account as an effective

means to reestablish control over their XXXL infants. Little did they know about the

maami’s hydra level plan within a plan to establish her social stature as  a cool

“உலகம் சுற்றும் மாமி” // “globe trotter” // which could come in handy for her  m.o. 

As an intended side effect, now your facebook is filled with all the aunties you grew up

with and you are scared as fuck when some / any of the lucky bastards you have for

friends would comment something that will directly prompt a question of character from

this army of aunties. Following could be a transaction based on actual events but you

know me..

// Le you: [insert : random social media viral article about Indian men and their

Le bastard friend: dei.. I still remember how much scene you were putting seeing that
Indian stripper in las vegas dream palace ok? //.

Now this is the type of situation where your act of valor and splendor in appealing to

the female population in your friendslist takes a drastic turn  and goes south. Your

smartphone has called it a night and you come home after hitting it off in a nightclub

only to see the post and the comment garnering a certain level of attraction you

wouldn’t want. You do the needful and go in to damage control mode and that’s about when

le ping appears.


*from random aunty*

That’s it. The moment of truth. Would you man up and respond to the message or pretend ]

that you weren’t online and do a smartypants pretending that the same Le Bastard Friend

jacked into your account? While you are flummoxed with the very possibility of this

intricate situation, might I remind you, that the person responsible for this unique

scenario is none other than our beloved protagonist – The Maami.

In an unassuming friday evening:

Here begins the chain of events that leads to your destruction.

Your plan:

You are a nice chap. Earning decent money and living the dream. You meet this girl and

things are getting a bit intense. The girl is obviously different from the archetypal

bride that you will be provided with. Be it a single or multi-variants of state, region,

language, age, country and race; she is different from your archetypal bride. But you

are not worried. You have a plan set up. You call your parents to USA. Show them a good

time. Go out with friends. This girlfriend of yours is just playing it right to get your

parents mildly interested on her. Upon its own possibility or in a controlled

environment, you get what you wanted. Your parents say “Ok pa. What about this girl? She

is pretty and seems nice”. You know where this is headed. You have got this. You have

envisioned this moment inside your head, played all the possibilities and planned for

it. You are confident that your parents will agree to your intended proposal. Aww..


Back to reality. Whammy..  Introducing to you, the destruction in motion, covered in

lotion, benchmark mummy, your own maami!!

Actual course of events:

Maami meets your mom. Maami used her skillful narration and maxes out on her hard earned

title as the master manipulator using stories to trigger a threat and response set up.

The unassuming, fairly innocent parents of yours walks right in to the set up. Maami has

got them in a chokehold now.

The doomed story of an otherwise successful america “mappilai” / america mappilai is a

pop reference to the potential Indian bachelor who is churning mad dough in America / is

emotionally strangling them.

They can’t imagine their sweet pappu, the XXXL kiddo, to fall for some witch who would

romp and stomp all over their pappu’s life.

They are scared so much that any girl, the pappu would seek for himself will be this

witch that would suck the bejesusout of their son’s life.

Maami is actually aware that she has got what she wanted. But what makes maami the best

in the business is her special move. The fatality. Maami swipes her iPad (hey whatsup

with the iPad and the maamis anyway?? and shows them the picture of a very drunk pappu

in a danger close proximity to this possible and good looking witch from a different

state. That’s it homeboy. The fatality. Maami wins.

You’re done.

Months Later:

XXXL kiddo is now married to this archetypal bride from India. Girl has no clue about

the life this america mappilai has had as a graduate student. Bro is still not out of

that misery and adding to the top is losing the only girl who was ever interested in his

miserable self. The newcomer chick wants to go to vegas, dip in miami, bigsur ride in

california, a couple of days in disneyland, vacation in hawaii and bro has never gone to

most of these places in his 6 year stint in America only. He knows he has earned his

keep and keeps the head down but the newcomer chick has not even done dishes in her

previous life. What follows is a story of destruction but lets cut back to the


நம்ம காயத்ரி பையன் படுற பாட்ட பாத்துட்டு செண்பகத்துக்கிட்ட எடுத்து சொன்னேன்.

அவ டப்புனு சுதாரிச்சுட்டு என் சொந்தக்கார பொண்ணு ஒருத்தி, நம்ம லக்ஷ்மி

பொண்ணு, தங்கவிக்ரகம் மாதிரி இருப்பா.. அவளுக்கு புடிச்சு கொடுத்துட்டா.. இப்போ

நம்ம செண்பகம் பையன் ராஜாவாட்டம் அந்த பொண்ணு கூட disneyland, hawaiiன்னு

சந்தோசமா சுத்துறான். Swipes open the iPad to invoke her new fatality “A picture of

our pappu tagged in our thangavigraham’s album ‘New beginning with a beautiful


// Maami: Seeing the plight of this failed interracial marriage, I took it upon myself to not to let this happen to our Senbhagam’s son. We found a vbarbie of a girl from my side (a relative) and they’re living happily having honeymoon in Miami, Hawaii and such. Swipes open the iPad to invoke her fatality “A picture of our pappu tagged in our barbie’s album ‘New beginning with a wonderful dream'””//.

Thus the maami is set upon in her path of destruction. Its pappu here, paapu there but

the gender doesn’t warrants maami to deliver any lesser evil. Because, Maami keeps it

real. Maami is everywhere..

Maami is ominous.. Maami is omnipotent..