Indian aunty and the recent american college grad: A tale of woe and foe

p.s – subtitles available only

p.s 2 –  aunties / maamis are used interchangeably.

p.s 3 – All the translation is in between // and //.

The introduction of the Indian Aunty:

நாடு சும்மா கிடந்தாலும் கிடக்கும் பாழும் நாகரீகம் அத ஓடி வந்து கெடுக்கும். A

stained metaphor of all those aunties (maamis) whose sole purpose is to ring the wedding

bells to the otherwise innocent Indian parents. Some aunties are just this ultimate evil

embodied in silver, gold and organic compounds. A black hole of all sorts. This maami

destroys everything in her path. All it needs for her is to spend 5 minutes of her time.

“நம்ம காயத்ரியோட பையன் இருக்கான்ல? அமெரிக்கால படிச்சுட்டு கை நிறைய

சம்பாதிச்சுட்டு இருந்தான். அப்புறம் ஒரு கருப்பு பொண்ண கல்யாணம் பண்ணான்,

அவளும் கொஞ்ச நாள்ல இவன விட்டுட்டு போயிட்டா. போன வாரம் phoneல நீங்க

சொன்னதெல்லாம் காதுல போட்டுக்கலையே மாமின்னு கதர்றான். எனக்கு படபடன்னு

வந்துருச்சு”

//” a painful narration of a failed interracial marriage an Indian male sought upon himself and an unverifiable punchline aimed at satiating the evil aunty’s delusion of being a do gooder”//.

A short walk-through an Indian nuclear family:

The garden variety Indian parents are under the impression that their babies will never

do anything against them and even if their kids like someone;  it will all work out fine

and dandy. They have this sense of comfort from the control they possess over their XXXL

infants. That comfort was repeatedly reassured by numerous verbal, financial and social

transactions.

/We will be seeing an Indian nuclear family where the mom is Shenbagam and her son, pappu / XXXL infant./

/ The intricacies of an Indian parent – child relationship is currently out of scope here and has no fodder for whatever effect the author of this post tries achieve and thus no longer be pursued. /

A momentous journey of the maami:

Lo and behold. The behemoth of an Indian aunty reasserts herself in your family with the

social commitment she thinks she has over the wellness of your family. The wake of this

narcissistic creature, a remnant of the old world monsters, has only one purpose. To

threaten the innocent Indian parents and to make them feel insecure about the control

they possess over the XXXL infant.

This is where the story about a failed interracial marriage is narrated. The aunty,

having mastered the art of story telling as she accumulated tenure by impending

obedience in her children by narrating monster stories, has undergone second mutation to

become a master manipulator of emotions via stories.

What started as “பூச்சாண்டி புடிச்சுட்டு போயிருவான்  to the சாப்பிட மாத்தே போ-ing

kid”, // fake attempting a contact with the boogieman to make children obey to her

commands // has evolved to “கருப்பா இருக்கான்.. பொறுக்கி மாதிரி.. பாவம்னு ஏதாச்சும்

பேசினா என்ன ஆகும் தெரியுமா?” // a story about cultural equivalent to black

boyfriend vs single white woman //and then to “மாப்ள நல்லவர் தான்..ஆனா அவங்க

அம்மா, தங்கச்சிலாம் என்ன செய்வாங்க தெரியுமா”  // establishing control over the

son-in-law by scaring the daughter by using fictional stories against her in laws // and

now the maami is a successful mother.

Her social status is established by her frequent trips to America to oversee her

daughter’s role as a wife and a puppeteer who is a puppet herself. The effective

disassociation of the son-in-law and his supposedly evil family is a tale in its own but

like we have previously discussed, its outside our bracket.

We have already drifted enough in establishing the maami origins.

Maami and her resolution to fuck your life:

Now the social circle that the maami moves in is well aware of her accomplishments and

there are a bunch of pictures of our maami in front of Niagara falls, statue of liberty,

San Francisco bridge, times square, Stratosphere – Las Vegas and in front of random

American buildings, going rounds in social media. The picture attached is fictional and

not a portrayal of anyone living or dead and I am not known very well for my

truthfulness.

maami

However, Maami has allured her peers into opening a facebook account as an effective

means to reestablish control over their XXXL infants. Little did they know about the

maami’s hydra level plan within a plan to establish her social stature as  a cool

“உலகம் சுற்றும் மாமி” // “globe trotter” // which could come in handy for her  m.o. 

As an intended side effect, now your facebook is filled with all the aunties you grew up

with and you are scared as fuck when some / any of the lucky bastards you have for

friends would comment something that will directly prompt a question of character from

this army of aunties. Following could be a transaction based on actual events but you

know me..

// Le you: [insert : random social media viral article about Indian men and their
misogyny]

Le bastard friend: dei.. I still remember how much scene you were putting seeing that
Indian stripper in las vegas dream palace ok? //.

Now this is the type of situation where your act of valor and splendor in appealing to

the female population in your friendslist takes a drastic turn  and goes south. Your

smartphone has called it a night and you come home after hitting it off in a nightclub

only to see the post and the comment garnering a certain level of attraction you

wouldn’t want. You do the needful and go in to damage control mode and that’s about when

le ping appears.

hiii…

*from random aunty*

That’s it. The moment of truth. Would you man up and respond to the message or pretend ]

that you weren’t online and do a smartypants pretending that the same Le Bastard Friend

jacked into your account? While you are flummoxed with the very possibility of this

intricate situation, might I remind you, that the person responsible for this unique

scenario is none other than our beloved protagonist – The Maami.

In an unassuming friday evening:

Here begins the chain of events that leads to your destruction.

Your plan:

You are a nice chap. Earning decent money and living the dream. You meet this girl and

things are getting a bit intense. The girl is obviously different from the archetypal

bride that you will be provided with. Be it a single or multi-variants of state, region,

language, age, country and race; she is different from your archetypal bride. But you

are not worried. You have a plan set up. You call your parents to USA. Show them a good

time. Go out with friends. This girlfriend of yours is just playing it right to get your

parents mildly interested on her. Upon its own possibility or in a controlled

environment, you get what you wanted. Your parents say “Ok pa. What about this girl? She

is pretty and seems nice”. You know where this is headed. You have got this. You have

envisioned this moment inside your head, played all the possibilities and planned for

it. You are confident that your parents will agree to your intended proposal. Aww..

snap!

Back to reality. Whammy..  Introducing to you, the destruction in motion, covered in

lotion, benchmark mummy, your own maami!!

Actual course of events:

Maami meets your mom. Maami used her skillful narration and maxes out on her hard earned

title as the master manipulator using stories to trigger a threat and response set up.

The unassuming, fairly innocent parents of yours walks right in to the set up. Maami has

got them in a chokehold now.

The doomed story of an otherwise successful america “mappilai” / america mappilai is a

pop reference to the potential Indian bachelor who is churning mad dough in America / is

emotionally strangling them.

They can’t imagine their sweet pappu, the XXXL kiddo, to fall for some witch who would

romp and stomp all over their pappu’s life.

They are scared so much that any girl, the pappu would seek for himself will be this

witch that would suck the bejesusout of their son’s life.

Maami is actually aware that she has got what she wanted. But what makes maami the best

in the business is her special move. The fatality. Maami swipes her iPad (hey whatsup

with the iPad and the maamis anyway?? and shows them the picture of a very drunk pappu

in a danger close proximity to this possible and good looking witch from a different

state. That’s it homeboy. The fatality. Maami wins.

You’re done.

Months Later:

XXXL kiddo is now married to this archetypal bride from India. Girl has no clue about

the life this america mappilai has had as a graduate student. Bro is still not out of

that misery and adding to the top is losing the only girl who was ever interested in his

miserable self. The newcomer chick wants to go to vegas, dip in miami, bigsur ride in

california, a couple of days in disneyland, vacation in hawaii and bro has never gone to

most of these places in his 6 year stint in America only. He knows he has earned his

keep and keeps the head down but the newcomer chick has not even done dishes in her

previous life. What follows is a story of destruction but lets cut back to the

protagonist.

நம்ம காயத்ரி பையன் படுற பாட்ட பாத்துட்டு செண்பகத்துக்கிட்ட எடுத்து சொன்னேன்.

அவ டப்புனு சுதாரிச்சுட்டு என் சொந்தக்கார பொண்ணு ஒருத்தி, நம்ம லக்ஷ்மி

பொண்ணு, தங்கவிக்ரகம் மாதிரி இருப்பா.. அவளுக்கு புடிச்சு கொடுத்துட்டா.. இப்போ

நம்ம செண்பகம் பையன் ராஜாவாட்டம் அந்த பொண்ணு கூட disneyland, hawaiiன்னு

சந்தோசமா சுத்துறான். Swipes open the iPad to invoke her new fatality “A picture of

our pappu tagged in our thangavigraham’s album ‘New beginning with a beautiful

dream'”.

// Maami: Seeing the plight of this failed interracial marriage, I took it upon myself to not to let this happen to our Senbhagam’s son. We found a vbarbie of a girl from my side (a relative) and they’re living happily having honeymoon in Miami, Hawaii and such. Swipes open the iPad to invoke her fatality “A picture of our pappu tagged in our barbie’s album ‘New beginning with a wonderful dream'””//.

Thus the maami is set upon in her path of destruction. Its pappu here, paapu there but

the gender doesn’t warrants maami to deliver any lesser evil. Because, Maami keeps it

real. Maami is everywhere..

Maami is ominous.. Maami is omnipotent..

Kalam !

Its been 2 days since his demise. I am not a fan of the RIP posts in facebook (remember Paul Walker?) but in Dr. Kalam’s case, I don’t even want to dissect the why’s and how’s of it. Goes to say how much we as a nation, loved him. He was the last of the generation that stood up and guided the younger generation that served as icons, in the wake of Indian nationalism. We miss your presence Dr. Kalam and we can only hope to carry on the dream you had.

Dr. Kalam’s stance or the lack of which – regarding the fabricated Tamil sentiments such as Nuclear power plant and the Neutrino research center has made certain sect of the Tamil Nadu to speak ill of him. Few of the disses swinged at him are as follows.

“A political clown”.
“Not a real scientist”.
“tool of the oppressors”.
“Merchant of fascism”.

He was reduced to being the “Minister of Propaganda” for Indian government. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Goebbels

It is true that Dr. Kalam hasn’t made his stance clear regarding the North-East situation, Kashmir situation, Eelam genocide and Operation Greenhunt. Are you leftists that naive to think that someone who has served as a Chief Scientific Adviser to the PMO – India and partly governed two of the country’s apex scientific establishments can speak his mind? Any human would be troubled to see what the GOI is doing with the 4 key humanitarian problems in India, provided that one doesn’t bear the burden of evidence, one should stay away from accusations right? Even the court of law calls it as “benefit of doubt”. But why am I bothering myself with deliberation in writing a column or op-ed since you motherfuckers will discredit Kalam as a scientist as well? When did you guys stoop this low to just write bullshit without a care for supporting evidence? Especially when he is dead and the country is mourning?

I think the fundamental problem is that, the lunacy of the leftism has no rationale to it and it will attack everything that does not agree with their philosophy. Its just goes with your version of modernism to attack everything in the obsession of being an iconoclast.
Let me quote Barathiyar for you assholes.

கண்ணிலான் காலிற்
கவின்மணியை யெற்றிவிட்டால்
மண்ணி லதுதான்
மதிப்பகன்றதாய் விடுமோ? 1

பொய்த் தொழிலோன் மைதிலியாம்
வைதனைப் புன்காவல்
வைத்ததனா லன்னை
மதிப்பிழந்து போயினளோ? 2

ஐவர் முன்னே பாஞ்சாலி
யாடையுரிந் தார்கயவர்;
மைவளர்ந்த கண்ணாளின்
மாண்பகன்று போயினதோ?

The biggest grief of an Indian liberal would be, having to side with you stupid leftists from time to time.

அடியே காதல் கண்மணி..

அறிவுஜீவியா இருக்கவனுக்கு பிரச்சனை பொதுஜன ரசிப்புத்தன்மைல அடங்குற விஷயங்கள இவனால ரசிக்க முடியாது..

அறிவுஜீவியா காமிச்சாகனும்னு நினைக்கிறவனுக்கு (insert beep sound) எதையுமே ரசிக்க முடியாது..

(அண்ணல் கருந்தேள் அறிமுகம் இங்கு என்றறிக)
http://tinyurl.com/jvqvobw

தன்னைத்தேடி வந்து நிற்கும் மனங்கவர்ந்தவனை கண்ட இந்தப்பெண் கண்ணில் காதல்.. ஒரு நொடி.. ஒரே நொடியில் கண்ணீராய் துளிர்த்து மறைகிறது.

“ஐயோ.. அம்மா.. என் காதல் எவ்வளவு புனிதம்.. கண்ணு தெரியாத அளவுக்கு கன்னாபின்னானு காதல் வருதே. நாக்கு, மூக்கு, காது (வான் கா பொறுத்தருள்க) எல்லாம் வெட்டியே ஆகணுமே”ங்குற அளவுக்குலாம் இங்க எவ(னு,ளு)மில்ல.. (நம்ம எழில் பையன் தவிர்த்து).

தன்னளவுக்கான ஒரு சமூகக்கரண்டியில் அளவு பாத்து, மனசும் நோகாம, வாழ்க்கையயும் பலி கொடுக்காம, ஒவ்வொரு அடியா அளந்து அளந்து ஒரு mysterious space கடந்த அப்புறமா அடைகொள்ளா காதல்.. இதான் இன்னிக்கு வழக்கம்.

நித்யா மேனன் கண்ணில் துளிர்த்த கண்ணீர் சட்டென்று திசைதிருப்பும் நொடியில் இவ்வளவு இருக்கிறது. Its not normal anymore to let your feelings known. ஒரு மாதிரி நேக்கான arranged love. இத படமா எடுத்தா “ஐயே.. அதே பழைய மேட்டர்பா”னு அய்யாச்சாமிஸ்..

ஒன்னு மட்டும் தெளிவா புரிது.. Recurring themes in Quentin Tarantino moviesனு சின்னதா thesis பண்ற இதே கும்பல்தான் இன்னாடா ஆயுத எழுத்து trainu, அலைபாயுதே sceneuனு அலம்பிட்டு திரிதுக.. lets not talk about the wannabes anymore. அத இந்த பதிவு போறவாக்குல பாத்துக்கும்.

ஒடம்பு முடியாத அம்மா அவரு வந்தா தான் எனக்கு நிம்மதின்னு சொன்ன நாள்ல இருந்து இன்னிக்குவர எங்க வீட்ல ஒரு காதல் கதைய நான் பாத்துட்டு இருக்கேன். அதுக்கு முன்னாடி எல்லாம் அம்மாக்கும் அப்பாக்கும் இவ்ளோ loveஆ’னுலாம் எனக்கு தெரியாது. அன்னில இருந்து நான் பாத்ததுல ஆகச்சிறந்த காதல் என்ன பெத்தவங்களுதுதான். நம்மள்ள பலர் இதே சந்தோசத்த அனுபவிச்சுருப்போம்.

பிரகாஷ்ராஜ் – லீலா சாம்சன் (சிறந்த துணை நடிகைக்கான தேசிய விருது?) க்குள்ளார இருக்க காதல் அப்படி ஒரு வகை. இளையராஜா காலத்து romanticized romance. எனக்கும் – என் சார்ந்த சமூகத்து இளசுங்களுக்கு, காதலுக்கும் மேற்சொன்ன சமூகத்தயக்கத்துக்குமான இடைவெளில நடக்குற ஆண் – பெண் பரிமாற்றங்கள் சில இருக்கு. நித்யா மேனன் – துல்கர் சல்மான்கிட்ட அத பாக்கலாம். That is there to it. இது பழசுன்னா நீங்க புதுசா காதல் பண்ணுங்கடா அம்பி அத பதிவு பண்ணலாம்..

(SPOILER பத்தி ஜாக்கிரதை.
தன் ஆருயிர் காதல் மனைவிய பாத்துட்டு குடைய தூக்கி எறிஞ்சுட்டு பதறி ஓடின பிரகாஷ்ராஜ்னால, “என்னடாம்மா ‘ன்னு” அம்மாகிட்ட வாஞ்சையும் காதலும் கொட்டும் அப்பாவுக்காக யாருக்கும் தெரியாம கண்ணோரமா ஒரு துளி காதல் துளிர்க்குது, மரியாதை கலந்த பெருமை நிமித்தமா).

நித்யா மேனன் தோழியா வர்ற பொண்ணுகிட்ட கூட அவ்வளவு யதார்த்தம். நித்யா மேனன் சொல்லவே வேணாம். என் கிட்ட இருக்க samsung S6 frame வழியா பாத்தாலே அவ்வளவு அழகா இருப்பா. இதுல மணிரத்னம் சொல்லி, PCS அவரோட பிரம்மாஸ்த்துரதுல frame வச்சதுல இந்த நித்யா மேனன், ஷாலினி – ரேவதின்னு தேவதைகள் உறையும் ஒரு திவ்யதேசத்துல Green Card வாங்கிட்டா. நம்ம Vijay TV Ramyaவயே கண்ணு கூசாம பாக்க முடிதுன்னா பாத்துக்கோங்களேன்!!

துல்கர் சல்மான்கிட்ட ஒரு handsomeness இருக்கு. ஆனா classல பசங்கட்ட சங்காத்தமே வச்சுக்காத ஒரு character இருக்குமே? அந்த சாயல் தெரிது. நடிப்பு எல்லாம் பிரமாதம்தான். I guess the first father and son both to feature in MR’s films. அதுவே பாராட்டு தான்.

எங்க எல்லாம் முடியுதோ அங்க எல்லாம் எறங்கி அடிச்சுருக்கான் இந்த மென்சிரிப்பு maniac ARR.. Carnatic fused with dubstep / electrohouse படத்துல அங்கங்க தெளிச்சுவிட்ருக்கார் பாருங்க.. த்தா level. எப்பதான் படத்தோட OST வரும்னு இருக்கு..

ஒத்த மனுஷன் இந்த தமிழ் சமூகத்துக்கு pink floydஆகவும், metallicaவாகவும், Skrillexஆகவும், Coldplayஆகவும், qawwalisஆகவும், carnaticஆகவும் சதாவதாரத்துல அருள்பாலிக்கிறேர்.. ம்மா.. என்ன புண்ணியத்த பண்ணானுங்களோ இந்த தமிழனுங்க.. blessed with people like Raja, ARR, Valluvar, Kambar, RR Chozhan! எப்பா ராஜா ரசிகர்களா. புரியுது உங்க ஆதங்கம், உங்க ரசனை எல்லாம். அதுக்காக இப்படி ஒரு மனுஷன தரக்குறைவா பேசுறத நிறுத்திக்கங்க சொல்லிப்புட்டேன்.

இப்படி நான் பாக்குற காதல, காதலர்கள, என் வாழ்க்கைல இருந்து sample பண்ண celluloidஅ தந்ததுக்கு நன்றி MR.

Special accolades for choreographing the quintessential bickering couples go through when they don’t put all their feelings on the table. That kinda answers one more accusation. An artist can only record what he sees for us to be able to relate with the movie. பாலாக்கிட்ட போயி..  “நீ ஒரு international b-boy ஓட biopic எடுக்க மாட்டேன்ற. நீ போங்குனு சொல்ல முடியுமா?”. “யார்ரா நீ வக்காலி”ங்குற மாதிரி நக்கலா சிரிச்சுட்டே போயிருவார். இங்க கொரவலைய கடிச்சுவச்சுருவார்னு ஒரு theaterக்காக நான் சொல்லலாம். ஆனா உண்மைல இதுவரைக்கும் நமக்கு தெரிஞ்சு பாலா யார் கொரவளையயையும் கடிச்சதில்லையே? அதான் சாராம்சம்.

ராஜா, ரஹ்மான் விட்ட gapல Anirudh is godனு திரியற பக்கிங்க இதுங்க.. அந்த மாதிரி தான் காதல படமா எடுக்க Gowtham Menonனு சொல்லிட்டு திரியறதும். I have no other say in this matter.

You own this genre Manirathnam. This is an epic comeback. If this brilliant boy of yours, your Nandhan, is involved in this film, please let us know.. ரொம்ப நாளா அந்த பையன் பொதுவெளில என்ன பண்ணப்போறான்னு எதிர்பார்த்துட்டு இருக்கேன். Shut your wife up while you’re at it. Pretty please!

மத்தபடி என்ன கேட்டா இதான் சொல்லுவேன். எனக்கு ஆளு இருந்தப்போ / இல்ல futureல வர்றப்போ இந்த படம் வந்துருந்தா உஷிதமா இருந்துருக்கும். I would have been writing to her instead of this sinkhole I dug for myself. But then.. All of you people who are in love.. Go grab your SO and watch O Kadhal Kanmani.

Thoughts on Deepika Padukone’s “My Choice”:

For the uninitiated, this is what is in discussion : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtPv7IEhWRA

I watched the short video by Vogue, starred by Deepika Padukone and directed by Homi Adajania. I so wanted to do a’ Whatsup Homie’ upon learning his existence (I don’t Bollywood). Alright. I will just put my takeaways and then something else.
Takeaway:
* Brilliant Lighting and Camera: Wow.. All the environs including fabricated lighting, usage of monochromatic colors and with the pretty women. Wow. Powerful narration too. Kudos to the homie.

* Nimrat Rao! Whoa dude.. that chick! If you’ve watched Homeland, I bet you didn’t take your eyes off of this gorgeous, commanding and attractively vicious and my version of Femme Fatale. My senses went on a berserk that I had to find her on instagram @nimratofficial to give myself a shot of Nimrat Rao every time I go there. If you folks think Deepika Padukone is attractive that’s all chill by me. But this is what I have to think of her :P
collage
( Rajendran, A south Indian bae with his bollywood counterpart)

BACKGROUND:
* I believe TOI is a piece of shit and AIB did a homage and that’s there https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGXCjwPhoT0. About Deepika’s choice to show her bod and to speak against the TOI’s publication standards, I am completely with her. Its her choice and her terms and TOI did fuck up bad. I have come to respect DP after that. That was no case for double standards. But that was it. The propaganda value she garnered with the aforementioned incident catapulted her way to this video. tsk.. tsk.. regrets! TOI you blatant fuck. This could have easily been Gul Panag’s. Bang up job there TOI.

By now, you readers would have got an idea about who I am and how I view stuffs.. I am a liberal and I friggin want freedom of choice.. If there is one. If you’ve read 1984, I can say you would know what it means to have the illusion of choice. But then.. WTH!

My Observations:
This is what I have observed in this 2 minutes (and change) of the brilliantly shot / narrated piece of shit.

ELITISM
* PROPAGANDA
* EGOCENTRIC and NARCISSISTIC
* DOUBLE STANDARDS
* VAGUE
* SELECTIVE LIBERALISM

Before you go all “white knight – look at me girls, I am a feminist myself – whoa.. this is cool. I’ll share this” on this video. Here are some bites.

This video has nothing to do to with a middle-class or the never been acknowledged lower middle-class or the devoid of our conscious below the poverty line people. Empowerment is more than what you get to wear my people. I have known a girl who can not go to school because her father thought women can’t go to school associating with men and such. I have barely scratched the surface here. I am completely aware of how big a problem women’s rights is, especially in India. Sure freedom of clothing is a symptom but should we fuss so much about treating the symptoms here and letting the disease unnoticed? Politicizing the elitism here will only widen the social class bandwidth and will add more troubles to the earnest who actually need women empowerment. “My girl will become like this if she were to be educated”. See what I mean?

The editor in chief of Vogue USA and the director of the group that publishes Vogue, Anna Wintour, is a narcissistic creature that somehow got through the last 100 years of evolution. This video is a certain echo of her standards. Let me give you an example. The video is interpretive as a woman’s voice to her tormentor, arguably a man right?. The video also asks you to STFU cos bearing a certain size is their choice. Their editor in chief has asked people (Oprah friggin Winfrey) to shed weight to be featured in Vogue. I am fuckin confused man.. I love a lot of people and I hate very few. Of that very few, the creatures that tops the list are the ones with Selective Liberalism. I will be a liberal when it suits me type of people. I guess the validity or the credibility of the video is questioned by the fact it is paid by Vogue.  Oh! Ms. Vintouralso stopped a working class flight attendant to be featured in the Vogue’s breast awareness piece and had a businesswoman feature in it. Are you getting this? Having breast cancer and being a woman (Wrong order? :) ) doesn’t qualify you being there in Vogue’s breast cancer awareness article.
You.. The Indian woman who is worried about having a safe and secure public latrine because you can’t weeeeeeee in public as ‘they’ do but still are a Human with metabolic urges.. Vogue Empowers you.. First become elite and then when you don’t give a shit cos you can have a friggin mobile latrine in your limo. Then we will talk about your clothing choices aight?

I am a proponent of “Death of the Author” so let me stop being a (sorta!) hypocrite here. What really grinds my gear and sorta put me in rant mode is that special mention to Adultery. Dude. I get it you went all “The picture of Dorian Gray” in here but Dorian Gray is an old world monster. Please stop! This is too wild for Oscar Wilde himself (Not really!).

Men are objectified just as easily as women as well. Women. You know you check out that ass, “cute” smile and enjoy a free gun show when you can at the same rate as men do, only subtler.  We can not wear certain dresses as well. Imagine a man wearing a really short shorts? Would you take it as lightly as you think you will? Being forced into herd with the societal conformity is not just a special reserved seat for women. Of course no one can tell you what to wear and how to wear it. No one can disturb you for what you’re wearing. At the same time, you ought to understand that men has the same reservation too. Yeah we do go shirtless when we can but that comes within a certain level of social scrutiny as well. My point is that there are much pressing issues at work.

Going full elite and disconnected while dealing with sensitive topics such as this is kind of like playing for the opposite team. I for one, can not take people seriously when you are being Vague, Selectively liberal and Elite. But its not about me. A common authoritative male archetype would twist the moral ambiguity in the term “Sex Outside the Marriage” to negate whatever you are trying to do here. No one has freedom to have sex outside the marriage unless it is an “open relationship” (people of facebook; You really need to know what it is before calling yours, an open relationship). No matter what color, creed or the presence of a dick or the lack of it. Just stop selling this bullshit.

I believe the video is intentionally vague. As in, to create dialogue such as this. I dig that. But the vagueness is mildly irritating when it comes to the mention of promiscuity. Are you wanting the freedom to commit adultery or you just concerned about the social comment clause that is attached with it? Being called slut or a whore if I have to be not vague? See that’s how you don’t be vague. I seriously don’t know how to categorize the adultery thing? Is it like a women empowerment thingy or what?

I am not sure how many of you know this. Evolution toggles between monogamy and polygamy to suit its needs. You know why dogs gets stuck after doing the deed? Evolution baby. Monogamy is sorta like our equivalent. I wouldn’t care the life history of the girl I am married with. But I definitely want her to be mine, and I hers, post marriage. There are several other relationship criteria and a specially stitched “open relationship” thing to propose otherwise.

This whole thing becomes a fuckin charade when there is a sect of women who had to walk miles to find places devoid of prying eyes cos she too needs to get rid of her bodily waste, or a place to bath and her family can not afford a latrine in their own house. Who is going to star in a video about that? Who is going to share that? Who can tell their story without having a bullshit “white savior guy saves an uncultured barbarians / slumdog millionaire” agenda behind it?

Last word: This video is manufactured as Deepika Padukone’s message rather than our Homie’s. When you understand why I haven’t made a fuss about it, You have silted the difference between a feminist and a hypocrite. Cheers to the women in my life. You all know how much I love you and respect you.

Terrorism among individuals

Charlie Hebdo is a french satirical magazine that attacks dogma or anything that it likes or dislikes. What is permissible to print is not even a question. Freedom of speech is an important pillar of a democracy. I believe in democracy. Let us put the emotions to rest and have a rationale at this massacre that happened in France.

> A cartoon disrespects a faith system and that is provocative.

>> It should be retaliated with a dialog or another cartoon; something communicative. Not murder.

> My faith is with democracy, freedom of speech and against killing a fellow human being and my faith system is violated.

>> What should I do if there is a provocation against my faith? See the problem here?

If a cartoon is provocative and is tantamount to a massacre; what does a massacre equates to?

There is one thing I learned that I am proud of. To respect a human who has a different opinion.. To have an argument about the ideas without hating or insulting the bearer..

Here is something someone wrote about roughly 50 years ago. May be it will help you understand the french thought process. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_the_Author.

A personal note:
I am proud of my mother tongue and my regional culture. Very proud. I have read a lot of Tamil literature; A lot more than anyone else I have personally met. If I were to be given a choice of being born again and If I get to choose who I am gonna be; I’d wanna be a Tamil. All over.
If there is a second choice at all, it would be french. Its the language and their culture. It is as liberal as an established country can ever get. It is in their blood to be free and embrace humanity. To lead humanity. France led the world to a new order since 18th century and it continues to inspire the western world. I hope this incident doesn’t changes that. Sadly, the irony of this post is the link that I have given above. It is written by a french philosopher and it can be summarized as “A creation should be treated as an independent entity from its creator”. Too bad some of us haven’t heard this message in 48 years.
A word to my friends. If you can not agree to the point that you and I have the absolute freedom to do what we want and say what we want; Fuck off… As in unfriend or unfollow or whatever that will put us on our own ways.

You don’t have to agree to what I am saying. But you have to agree that I have the freedom to say whatever I want to say. If you can’t accept that; then it is one of those things that constitutes terrorism.

We can have an open discussion about this. I will not disrespect you for having a different set of beliefs. I expect you to do the same.

piece de resistance: Muslim brethren. Please know that France is the country among UN security council that genuinely backs up Palestine. To choose not to speak up now is a symptom of a greater problem.

P.S: This applies to every self-righteous prick. Doesn’t matter if you want to ban a book that reviews Gandhi or to kill Salman Rushdie.

Interstellar: A physics walk through

Glossary of Terms:
TOR – Theory of Relativity
GTR – General Theory of Relativity
STR – Special Theory of Relativity
GUT – Grand Unified Theory
POS – Point of Singularity
SM – Standard Model

Before we get started:
I am the dude who reads Stephen Hawking and Richard Feynman without any purpose. I will have deadlines to meet and I will be reading Stephen Hawking’s report on black hole information, in detail. I watch a child trying to turn for the first time and I think about the physics intuition the animal kingdom seems to have. The energy transformations, the order, the math of it; the whole package.

On the other hand, I am a decent movie fanatic. Stanley Kubrick – Woody Allen – Roman Polanski – Park Chan wook spectra.

Enough of the BGM. My opening statement is this.

Interstellar is the best science fiction that there ever was. That includes 2001: A space odyssey, Matrix and everything else that deems to be fit as a sci-fi. Did I include “The Foundation” series? Well now I did.
While Stanley Kubrick recorded the fictitious surreal future with his intellectual brilliance, Christopher Nolan created a universe based on an actual known universe. As if Neil deGrasse Tyson sat down with Stephen Hawking, both of them were smoking weed and trying to predict a future for the mankind, and Nolan was there to record the conversation. You might think Kip Thorne (The CIT dude who helped Nolans with the script) is not that famous as compared to the superstars of the physics world namely, Einstein – Hawking – Feynman – Neil. Kip Thorne is big deal. Here is a photographical excerpt from “The theory of everything” – Stephen Hawking. (Dummy alert: TOE =! The movie TOE).

Excerpt from Stephen Hawking's The Theory of Everything

Excerpt from Stephen Hawking’s The Theory of Everything

Everything that was shown on screen was either a proven fact of Physics or a hypothesis that hasn’t been disproved yet. In fact there was only one assumption made, through out this 3 hours of advanced physics class. That happens to be the assumption based on a Stephen Hawking paper about information not being lost inside black hole. Time for some physics y’all.

Time:
Why the astronaut in space ages slower than the humans in earth?

Alright. Let’s summarize big bang here. An event, cosmic event, where out of nowhere, a supermassive explosion takes place. The explosion has so much energy that it expands and occupies something undefined. The occupied space now is our universe. A borrowed analogy could be a balloon. Our universe is like a balloon now. No ending.. No beginning. Just the ends connected to each other, 3 dimensionally. It is normal to imagine the explosion taking place in a massive scale as huge as the big bang has an expansion to the sides, 2-dimensionally. Just one thing though. What was the big bang expanding into? What was there before big bang? We have to pull a George Orwell here. Doublethink. The universe, from the big bang, expanded into nothingness.

The nothingness is undefinable because everything that we know about the laws of nature and math are obsolete before the big bang. If that is an idea so hard to wrap your head around; pray, the big bang with that particular expansion rate, is the only expansion rate, the universe would have sustained. Prayer number 2: There is this Quantum Entanglement. Which is a fancy word for saying everything in this universe is coupled with one other thing. Kinda like I am interdimensionally connected to something else and whatever affects me, affects the other. All you romanticists can blow your horns about finding your interdimensionally connected significant other but the “I” I used was just metaphorical. That “I” could be one single atom in me for all intents and purports.

                        The Time is a humanly construct. The measurement of Time, you know the cesium-133 atomic vibration and all? Forget it. There is no absolute time in TOR. An experiment in 1962 with two standardized atomic clocks kept in the top and bottom of a water tower measured time differently; the clock at the bottom of the tower was slower. As gravity changes, the time changes. Let’s look at it this way. Ever since the big bang, the universe is expanding in a rate. However, this expansion is not of the same values (I don’t know if I can use the term ‘constant’) as there are regions in universe where gravity is stronger. Rehash this idea. The space(x,y,z) and time(t) is created at the point of singularity. They have been expanding (expansion : forward arrow) ever since and there are regions in space and time where gravitational force influences this expansion rate resulting in specific regions of space-time to be more curved than the rest of the regions.

A very good friend of mine raised questions about gravity. If gravity does this to space-time, what makes the gravity to do so? The thing is, there was only one person who could have explained gravity and the origins of this mysterious force. Einstein. He said something in the lines of Gravity not being a force but the actual nature of space-time. Remember the balloon example? What happens when you start rolling your fingers from a point A? Let’s imagine that you start traveling (your finger starts rolling) from point ‘A’ in that balloon at a time t-> 0. For all the values of t > 0, you are traveling towards the point ‘A’. Got it?
You always travel towards the point ‘A’, regardless of the path that you might take.

                      I can never wrap my head around this idea. So this space-time expands into nothing and there is a energy – matter interaction (Oh did you read my article on Higg’s boson?) mechanism that spews matter out of this immense energy inside this space-time continuum. Now this matter collides on itself(due to gravity) to become gas clouds – stars – blackholes; and the blackholes bend space-time around them.

// Blog will be updated soon. Work calls //

Ebola: Wake up call for open science.

The outbreak shames the scientific society. All of us, the doctors, engineers and scientists; can delude ourselves to take pride in what we do. That the product of what we do helps people. To think about the fact that whatever you are doing is always measured, thereby controlled by someone in terms of wealth and not by the advancement and improvement of human society, suggests quite the contrary.

J.C. Bose said that he won’t patent his inventions because patents will only appeal to someone wealthy to invest only to harvest more wealth and that he wanted his work for the benefits of the whole human society.

It is sad how he ended up in the shadows while thieves who managed to spin a stolen scientific invention has their legacy sealed by giant corporations. i.e Bell labs.

Aaron Swartz’s death did not bring any change to the way science works. Inventions in computer science and physical sciences are already taking up the open science platform making a real difference in the world of science and engineering that shapes up humanity. Open learning platforms like coursera, codeacademy and mit ocw are opening up knowledge channels that are previously reserved for a certain group of people. If someone breaks through such reservations, it was only through their sheer intellect. The transcendence of such an individual through layers of society was only an upward mobility. What that is, is a segregation algorithm that puts barriers across the layers of society and the upward mobility only helps to keep the structure of this social segregation process intact.

It may work fine but see what outbreaks like Ebola can do to such society. There wasn’t any headlines, not this much, up until the disease was confined within the borders of Africa. As if the humans living there deserve less than what we can have here. I am not talking about just the USA. Observe the world’s reaction to Ebola before and after it reached the shores of the first world. This is what I mean by social segregation. The way we are conditioned to look at a fellow human and judge what he can have and what he can not have.

Open Science:
As I said earlier, computer science and physical science is promoting the open science platform. What about biological sciences? Most of the bio-research facilities are owned by governments that are very keen about protecting the information acquired and pharmaceuticals that are only interested in the monetary value of the research. This creates a very specific environment that often shapes up the personality of the individuals associated with the industry.

The comments of the Nobel Laureate Venkatraman Ramakrishnan is very different from his contemporaries in Computer Science and Physical sciences. You can see his interests in protecting the medical industrial complex behind his supposed scientific comments. I don’t see such negligent comments from an AI researcher say Andrew Ng of Stanford.

This brings us to my point. The overall morale of a society is often screwed up. An average scientist’s morale is compromised by his investor’s idea of morale. A society is a spectra of personalities and what you consider as normal behavior is just the mean value of this spectra. It may still be cruel which will only bite the society in its back. A sort of correcting mechanism, I might cruelly say. It is time for us to think for ourselves. As the men and women of science, technology and medicine; we may have to redraw the lines of our morale, individually. In my humble opinion, Open Science is a way to start this wake. Honestly, I don’t believe the combined ability of our mental prowess would be outwitted by a microbe, any microbe.

On the other hand, think about where this society, in its current path might lead to. Only the wealthy will lead a healthy life while the rest of the society is condemned to rot. I am not pleased with that future.

p.s: I am not saying the open science movement is ignored by the bio-chem, medicine community. I am saying they should have been the leaders of this movement.
P.P.S: please take a look at the #Ebola tags in twitter. See how it flares up only after the patient zero in America dies and other 2 cases reported. Now twitter is a far better place than our media so just imagine how general public’s reactions are before Ebola reached here and after Ebola reached here.. https://i.imgur.com/9rEZVhJ.gif